Dear Anonymous: A Letter to Every Young African Dreamer Trying to Lead, Build, and Belong

Dear Anonymous,

First, thank you for your question. It means a lot to me that you’re thinking deeply about your journey, your dreams, and the surrounding systems. You asked me what I gain from putting my thoughts out there, asking questions publicly, and sharing my decisions and thought processes.

Let me start here: I ask questions publicly because it helps me see things more clearly. It allows me to see myself more clearly. Sometimes, the answers I receive challenge my assumptions and force me to re evaluate my convictions. For example, a key leadership decision I made in a major project stemmed from one such public question asking, “How do you know as a leader if you’re making the wrong decision?” The responses helped me arrive at the truth I had been avoiding.

There’s something powerful about putting a question into the world and allowing others to speak into it. It creates accountability. It forces you to wrestle with your thoughts. That’s why I do it, not because I have no direction, but because I’m constantly refining that direction.

Now, to your reflections.

We live in a world full of different kinds of people. I once wrote a blog post categorizing them into four types. I won’t go into that here, but if you’re curious, I can send you the link. What I’ll say is this: some people are born to lead, and others are shaped to follow. Some scholars argue that cultural history, colonial trauma, and the residue of the transatlantic slave trade help explain why a “follower mentality” still lingers for some people. This doesn’t mean leadership is impossible, but it can come with struggle, especially internal struggle.

In a country like Nigeria, we’re raised to hustle. Hustling has become our identity. And escaping that identity takes a radical shift of mind. Many Nigerians who’ve done exceptional things, truly exceptional, have had some exposure outside of Nigeria or in rare enclaves of innovation. That exposure widens their worldview.

I started with that hustler’s mentality, too. I built things from the ground up, and I’m proud of that. But I’ve come to realize that while agriculture is good, my approach to agriculture wasn’t big enough. My environment capped my vision. And that had to change.

If I’m building anything now, I ask myself: Can it impact not just my country, but entire continents? Can other continents rely on it for survival or growth?

This is why I challenge the idea of thinking like someone in need. Institutions are important, they exist to validate and sustain. But they don’t get to dictate your direction. That’s your call. If you want to help people sustainably, you can’t just give; you have to build institutions that can give even when you're not there.

Take, for example, the idea of building hostels for young men and women without direction. It's noble. But will it last five years in a system like ours? Who maintains it? Who protects it from being destroyed, misused, or forgotten?

We must understand the psychology of our environment. Infrastructure at top global universities lasts for decades because the users value it. But here, people destroy what they don’t own. They misuse toilets, vandalize hostels, break facilities, and then complain that the government does nothing. We need to fix the mindset, not just the buildings.

And that brings me to teenage pregnancy. I’ve seen many projects attempt to tackle it. But let’s be honest: it’s a symptom of deeper systemic issues, peer influence, media, lack of identity, and poor education. You can’t solve it by just building a home. If we truly want to reduce it, we must start with education, not just academic, but life education. Values. Self awareness. Access to birth control isn’t enough. Even with knowledge, many still act against it. So the real solution is cultural, societal, and psychological.

I worked with a team that provided cheaper contraceptives for women. Our aim wasn’t just access but education. Because once a young person is self aware, they begin to make better choices without being forced. If we want to reduce teenage pregnancy, crime, or misdirection, we must re architect society. And one person alone can’t do that. But we can each start influencing change through the systems we create, the content we share, and the platforms we build.

You mentioned wanting to pursue Property law. That’s powerful. But I encourage you: don’t limit yourself. Don’t box yourself into one field. Destroy the box. Build new categories. You can be a lawyer and still be a founder, a creator, a system builder. The paper doesn’t define you. Your impact does.

When you study, don’t study for certification. Study for capacity. Ask yourself: “If you took away my degree and credentials, what would be left of me?” The answer to that question is your true value.

Many people pursue advanced degrees because they’re unsure of the next step. They use it to delay life. But you don’t need another certificate to prove your worth. You require clarity of purpose and relentless execution.

And finally, I require you to speak up. Publicly. Get used to hearing your voice in public. You can’t change the world while hiding behind closed doors. You don’t need to be perfect. Furthermore, you just need to start.

The world won’t wait for your perfection. It responds to presence. And if you don’t step out boldly, you’ll battle what I call “post school sickness”, a paralysis that comes when the structure of school is gone, and life is now fully in your hands. To beat that, you need to have a plan already in motion before you graduate. Don’t wait until after. Start now.

You may not be able to change the entire society. But you can build a model that others can follow. And that’s how transformation begins.

So go. Become. And keep being.

Sincerely, A Friend in the Arena